It has rained like 68 separate times today. The storm lacks cohesion, I give it a 5.5/10. All my clothes are soaked and hanging around me in my bunk. My entire bunk feels wet too but I think I might just be imagining it.
We have been in England for 5 days and I am happy to say I formed a little routine. Every morning I wake up at 9 and then take a 4 hour nap starting at 11. Then I get diarrhea halfway through our second song every night.
The routine is getting too comfortable. I need to shake things up a bit.
Last night we went to a little bar in Glasgow and "danced the night away". I feel like this could be the "defining moment" of an American's youth or maybe even entire life but it seems like something I wouldn't think of ever again in 60-80 days.
It is cool when someone tells you about something you did and you forgot you did it.
It is weird how things might actually be more fun to remember than to actually experience.
Here are some western culture questions I think I am struggling with:
Am I living in the past?
What does it means when I can't remember what I did the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd time I was in Sheffield on the 4th time? Should I be excited about the 5th time?
If you keep making new memories instead of repeating the same ones every day, will it eventually be impossible to make yourself "do" anything?

Does anyone know the answers to these questions?
:(

Ppppppppppppp pPpppppppp pppppp pppp ppppppp ppp



So we drove on toward death through the cooling twilight.
-Nick Carraway

the chunnel

I'm on a bus inside a train underwater.

My life

I am scared

I'm supposed to fly to Germany in 6 hours. I had a really horrible dream and had to get out of bed and turn on all the lights and eat something, and it's still not going away. I was in the big dark hall with a glass ceiling. It was dark cause it was night. I was watching a movie after we had played a failed show in there. In a bed. Then this invisible squat fat piggish guy with pants and human arms and hands but no torso and a pig masquerade mask came. He was very evil. I was asking everyone who it was. He was there for a while not doing much. At some point I remember violently trying to kill him. Like axing into where his head should be. I made dents in the invisible body. I shattered his mask. He got very stern with me and told me to put him back on his plateau. I put him back. He was bouncing around up there going higher and higher. There was a password that was ignorance151617 or something, someone yelled it at me. I dreamed that I woke up in the bed I was in in the dream and my mom was there and I was like wake up I had a horrible dream and woke her up but the words came up like my mouth was stuck together and I couldn't talk. My breathing was really slurpy and disturbing. She asked if I needed water and left to get it, then I was alone and still couldn't talk and dreamed that I woke up in my own bed. I got up to turn on the light but my hand was deformed and I couldn't fit it between the furniture and the wall where the switch is. Then I really woke up in my bed and went to the bathroom, shaky. My left eye was stuck together.

I went out to the kitchen and needed to read something. I saw The Mini Page and a thing about bees. I started reading "Vanishing Animals" with a picture of a bee.

In America in 2006, honeybees began abandoning their hives and disappearing. No bodies of the missing bees have been found. No one knows where they went or what happened to them.
Each year since then, there have been more of these strange disappearances. Experts say that more than one-third of all honeybees have disappeared in the United States.
One day bees would be swarming around their hives, apparently healthy. Then, all of a sudden, all the worker bees would vanish, deserting their hive, the queen, honey stores and young bees.
Other bees would avoid the deserted hives, not even trying to get the honey sitting there unguarded.
Scientists call this strange event Colony Collapse Disorder, or CCD.

:(
By now I felt very, very scared. Looking for the pig guy in the backyard and the dark parts of the room every time I looked up. Every hair on my body standing on end. Why was the Mini Page writing about something this horrible? I looked at the top and saw the article was by the Founding Editor. Then I read the first paragraph.

There is a big mystery in the world. Animals are disappearing, and no one knows exactly why. Bees, bats, frogs, and other amphibians are vanishing.
There are a lot of ideas about this. Experts believe the disappearances and deaths are happening for a mixture of reasons.
If so many animals are in trouble, it may mean the Earth is in trouble too.

The article only gets scarier after that. Bees are very important and so are bats and even frogs. They are also very old and mysterious. I am very scared and I don't know what to do. I don't think I want to know what the animals know. :(

1765

I feel like lashing out.

Agenda

It feels like there are only two things I have to do today. 1 is have diarrhea. 2 is shoot myself in the sinus cavity. Both things need to happen before we get to Palmdale
Good jacuzzi suite party last night
I don't think I have ever been sick for an entire tour. But I think it might happen.

Have yoou ever heard someone tell a joke about the swine flu?

Why don't you blog about it right now?

Hey, the best food blog ever.
http://fortheloveofsrh.blogspot.com

Nnnnnnnn

I wrote a blog about being bored on tour here: http://www.metalsucks.net/2009/10/08/horse-the-blog-horse-the-band-keyboardist-lord-gold-on-being-bored-on-tour/


Also I wrote a letter to Carles, I hope he responds. I figured I would just post the letter instead of writing a post about what I think. It seems weird to me that I never wrote about this before, I think, because I think it might be one of the only things I come close to "believing in".

Dear Carles,
I read your blog post about juggalos and I feel scared too. I have a question that I haven't been able to answer in my head for the last few years and I think I realized that you are the only person whose answer I would care about. The question is "Should stupid people be allowed to vote?" or "Is one obviously stupid person's opinion really worth as much as mine"? I think the answer is no, but I don't know where the cutoff would begin and how to test people. I feel like there could just be a committee and it would be totally obvious without even having to test someone, just talk to them for like 1 minute, but I don't know how to create guidelines to pick the people to be on the committee and it seems like even if the committee worked flawlessly people would think it was unfair. Also concepts that seem right to me like "No Taxation without Representation" couldn't exist anymore. It seems like maybe we all shouldn't have equal rights "just cause" and moving to a meritocracy or something might be the only way to save the world, but I think "smart" people might already be too dumb/easily offended to get that? Can you please blog about this? I really want to know what you think.

Sincerely,
Erik

There is no escape

Trailer torture chamber